Avoid Cliche, Boring Conversations on a First Date
Literally all sources of dating advice out there teach guys a similar strategy on making a conversation with a woman when they meet her or during the first date – and that strategy is asking her open-ended questions about herself. This sounds like it would make sense as this kind of conversation would show to a woman that you are interested in getting to know her. However, this is also likely to turn into one of the most common mistakes that people make on first dates that makes them come across as boring. Asking cliche questions one after the other that your date has heard dozens or more times before from many other guys, such as “Where are you from?” “Where did you go to school?” “How many siblings do you have?” “What do you do for fun?” and alike will not help sparking romance between the two of you, but will rather turn the whole interaction on that first date into a stale, stiff, interview-like conversation instead of playful, attractive, interesting, flirtatious exchange that it should be.
Some of the other, seemingly innocent questions, but the one that are also so painfully cliche and typical, and add nothing to creating attraction on a first-date are: “So, tell me about yourself” or “What do you like to do for fun?” – we have all asked and answered these kinds of questions before so many times. So, why even bother to take our conversation with a person we hope to be attractive to into that boring, borderline formal direction?
Surely there is nothing inherently wrong with those open-ended cliche questions about where a woman lives, what she does, how many siblings she has, where she went to school, what her astrological sign is, what her favorite color is, etc., but these questions contribute nothing to your coming across as an interesting and attractive guy on that first date when you should establish interest in order to see her again. On the contrary – they convey a bad message – that you really have nothing original or interesting to say or ask, and that you are just like anybody else – you are trying to fill the time with small talk and avoid the awkwardness of having nothing to talk about. This must mean that you are uncomfortable in such social situations and that you are unable to have a normal conversation where people simple talk about things instead of using conversational “crutches.”
Avoid asking these boring, typical question early on and especially on a first date when you are out with a woman. You will have plenty of time to ask your date all of those questions later if you get along and continue seeing each other. Instead, skip all those pleasantries and introductions and dive right into the interesting stuff as if you were talking to a long-time friend. Share your opinions and views on life, environment, people around you, celebrities, movies, and your traveling experiences. Make fun of celebrities, or something, or someone else that you observe at that very moment or that you have recently observed. Be sarcastic but not overly negative, make fun of things, make fun of yourself and tease your date playfully to make your first date exciting and memorable to both of you. This is one of the most powerful ways for you to convey your personality to your date and come across as a fascinating, attractive person whose character stands out conspicuously from the rest of the guys out there.
Remember, there is nothing worse than coming across as yet another boring guy to a woman. A woman might be able to forgive a guy for being too sexually aggressive, or not being aggressive enough, for being stingy, or having bad style, or being shorter than she likes. A woman might even overlook a man’s temper and possible violent tendencies if she sees other things in him that make her want to be with him, but there is nothing that a guy can do to compensate for being boring. It’s not so much because they are nice, but because somehow being nice goes together with being boring, and it doesn’t have to be that way. And the best way to not be boring is sharing your opinions more directly and more candidly on a variety of subjects while inviting her to do the same. This doesn’t mean that you have to talk non stop and overwhelm your date with your views one after the other, but it does mean that much of what you share and talk about should be interesting and/or stimulating to a woman.
Surely you are risking to have a disagreement on any given subject with a woman, but don’t worry about it. It’s quite ok to disagree with another person on something as long as you know how to do it in a civilized, respectful manner and not turn it into a fight. In fact, disagreements is what makes a conversation interesting. For instance, if a girl says “I hate Britney Spears… she is so crazy and can’t even take care of her life with all the money…” you could say – “You know, I wonder what she is really like – as a person. I mean, all the information we have about her is based on what we hear in the media. She might just be a very different person in real life…”
Keep the above important tips in mind on your next first date, and it’s likely to go much better.
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